How to Communicate Social Distancing with your Teens

Social restrictions continue to be an issue due to Covid-19.  Some experts, including this one, are predicting that restrictions will get worse before it gets better.  Some teens are not equipped to deal with this new normal. Telling them they cannot hang out with or see their friends has likely ended in conflict.  
Important things to remember when talking about social distancing with your Teen:

• This is unprecedented.  We have never in our lifetime had to deal with this issue.  It is hard to deal with change, expect your child to have negative feelings about it. 
  
• Teens are reliant on social connections with peers as part of their development.  
  
• Teens tend to feel most connected to their friends over family or other relationships.  They are likely to feel that loss of connection in a major way.  
  
• Teens lose the ability to think rationally about situations during times of increased emotional distress. 
  
• Teens will take their frustration and anger about the situation out on you, the parent.  
  

Tips to having conversations with your teen’s about social distancing:

• Don’t try to talk when they are angry.  Let them calm down, then talk through their emotions and reasons for social distancing.  
  
• Empathize with them and acknowledge their feelings as valid.  
  
• Allow them to use their technology to connect with peers.  Consider loosening restrictions within reason; increase time restrictions, allow for private conversations with peers. 
  
• Remind them this is temporary.  
  
• Encourage independence from peers with positive self exploration/ improvement (i.e. have them learn new skills, take on a new hobby, etc). 
  
• Encourage healthy coping outlets to deal with increased frustrations. 
  

Lastly, if your teen is struggling to understand why your restrictions may be stricter than compared to others, let them express their frustrations.  The reality is it isn’t fair that not everyone is following the same set of rules, so let them feel unjustified. When they are ready to hear it, explain your thoughts and concerns openly with them.  And don’t be afraid to teach the bigger life lessons, like for sacrificing for the greater good or selflessness.